Campamento

I arrived for the summer in Argentina last May expecting to be pretty torn up by the poverty I was going to witness. I guess I was, but I don’t know that it ever really hit me. Going back 2 weekends ago, after spending a month and a half in Chile living with a servant who makes my food, cleans my room, and washes my clothes, something finally clicked. It happened after one of the speakers at the camp I was helping with finished. He talked about the story of the prodigal son, something that has been on my mind a lot lately. He said that no matter who you are, how screwed up your family is, even if your parents have never thought you were important, we have a father who truly does care about you like the father in the story. It was weird how that affected a bunch of the guys. A group of them who I was hanging out with a lot, all around high school age, just broke down. I don’t know how I never saw it before but after a crying 17 year old dude yelled to me (rough translation) “People think stuff like this is just a story, or a joke, but for us it’s reality! When I get home I have to go work every day to provide for my sister and my mom, I can’t finish school…” I finally got it. I think I needed to see them drop the facade of being ok with it all to really start to understand the pain.

You read about these things in Dickens novels, and I lived in the presence of it all summer, but somehow it didn’t hit me till that Sunday afternoon. I felt helpless in the face of something so big, a problem so ingrained in the lives and families of these guys that I couldn’t think of anything at all to say. It was like for the first time I looked at hopelessness without having to imagine its ugly face, it was staring straight at me.

And as I thought about it more and more I went through some possibilities in my mind. I though, “I’m an econ major, I know what it takes to create jobs, I could dedicate my life to helping with that so these guys can find jobs.” And then I realized that over half of them are like 13 and shouldn’t be working full times jobs anyway. So what do you do? You can’t make their fathers come back and love them! You can’t give them back that childhood that was ripped away. You can’t take away the memories of searching through the trash for food (which my friend Lauren told me afterward she knows of a least one little girl who has been forced to do that).

It was weird that then my thoughts would switch from these kids, whose need is so blaringly obvious to my friends at home, or here in Viña. I finally saw that naked hopelessness in their lives as well and I remembered something I wrote down the other day:

If there is no such thing as God then:

Nobody knows you

Nobody knows what you really desire

Nobody loves you more than they love themselves

Nobody loves you enough to give up everything for you, to be crushed for your sake, to take all the pain and hurt that is directed at you, bear it, die for it, and count it utterly worth that cost because they love you and you are the reward.

Nobody will ever understand you because you inhabit yourself, preoccupied with your own concerns, and so does everyone else. Your heart, your mind, all that is really you will never be understood or really loved by anybody. No matter how hard you try you will never be able to truly open yourself up to anybody.

And your life will be spent desiring this, desiring to unburden these cares and pains, these loves, or the beauty you see, and have somebody truly understand, unselfishly look at all who you are and say, “despite the times when you failed and the times when you were so blinded by selfishness you couldn’t love anyone, despite your fears, despite the lack of trust in even me, I love you, I want you, I am jealous of the spirit I put in you, I am the lover of your soul, I know you, and when your soul is full of groaning too deep to utter I understand you, and if you hurt I will take your pain, and if you are scared I will take your fear, for I will defend you and I will win—there is nothing greater than me and I am love.

If God is not, this will never happen; and this world with beauty you can never quite grasp and pleasures that are never quite complete is all you can ever hope for; and despite my best efforts, I will never understand, and I will never love you, and neither will anyone else because I, like you, like everyone, am selfish and blind and I cannot see who you really are.

With that I realized that even if I could make these kids fathers come back and provide for all of them economically, it still wouldn’t be enough. Because even the best loved and best provided for still lack that which we are all crying out for: real understanding, real selfless love, real provision. I though again about the story of the prodigal son, realizing that if Jesus didn’t really come and tell that story to illustrate how God loves us then the greatest and most successful social work in the world is incomplete and I think I would just give up because I can’t really change much of anything anyway.

The other day I was talking to my new friend Felipe and he said he thinks that there are the comfortably ignorant people and nihilists. I agree but I hope to God that there is a third category: those who are blissfully aware that there is hope in a God who loves them.

Ya te extraño, Argentina

It started with a very long journey, alone and with a cold. From Maryland to Seattle to Chicago to Toronto, Canada to Santiago, Chile to Mendoza, Argentina within 3 days. After the first few days in Argentina I had recovered from my cold and then began one of the most thoroughly enjoyable six weeks of my life. Playing guitar and singing at every opportunity with Brian and Will (2 of the guys on the team from Resonate Church), trying that beauty which is the Argentine Carne Asada with Malbec (the red wine that you can’t do an asado without), getting to know a host of wonderful Christian brothers and sisters, and beginning to work in the Barrio 12 de Mayo.

As the time passed work was accomplished quickly and extremely well, relationships with the folks living in the Barrio began to form, and I grew increasingly close to the team. Worshiping, studying, praying, and working together day in and day out I saw how God was working in the lives of all of us and it was beautiful. The last week the team was with me was when things started to change. We began to work in the Barrio full time, building an addition to the youth center and handing out food to the families in need. As we began to share our lives with the guys who helped us build I started to really understand a main part of why God had me in Argentina.

One thing I learned in my time in Argentina is that God does not need us or anything we can give him. He owns the cattle on 1,000 hills and he is powerful. I found out that the reason I went to Argentina was not that he needed me there, not that I could somehow improve upon his justice by giving the Argentine people a chance to hear about God, or that through my wisdom and arguments I could convince them of the truth of some religion. No, I was there to give God the glory and beg people to join me in that. God has a plan to save people and those people he is going to save will be saved no matter what. But he has decided to use us as his tools! I don't feel like I'm good at being that sort of a tool... which is really just because I'm disobedient and don't have much faith. But it is a wonderful thing to find out that God is in control and that He is worth giving glory to. It motivates but also relaxes me because I know that although I have a job that God gave me, I am also not where the buck stops. Amen.

So as we started to really spend time in the Barrio with the guys (for me the guys my age because we had a lot in common) I started to understand something of how God works… maybe. Basically I got really close to a few guys and lived unashamed of the gospel in front of them and God did some work. By God’s grace I was able to tell them the truth without being ashamed of it or worrying that they would think I was weird. By the time I left my friend Emanuel, who before we came would have nothing to do with anything remotely religious, was so open that after a devotional I gave he told me he agreed with everything I had said. Before I left I made sure I told him as much as I could about God’s forgiveness and what it means to repent of a life of sin and come to God. Steve and Gina (the missionaries) are following up with him now.

Other than Emanuel, the guys I got closest to were Emiliano and Misa. These guys had already made decisions to follow God before I got there but I was encouraged to watch them grow along with the team and me while I was there. I wish I could show you all how beautiful Argentina was to me—the people, the places, the food, how close I felt to my Father. I know this post leaves a good bit to be desired, perhaps I will post more stories as they come to me later, but here are some pictures. Also, I want to thank you all for praying for me as I was in Argentina, and though it might be selfish I covet your prayers still as I am in Chile facing a very different set of challenges.

Chilean Andes, Valle Nevado

Emanuel, Derek, and I in the Andes

Left to right: Emanuel, me, Emiliano, Miso, Julio, Derek

La Valle desert north of Mendoza

14 guys in the back of a pick-up

Life in Pictures

Where I work, chill, and sleep: Fundación Alas Centro de Jovenil de el barrio 12 de Mayo.

From left to right: Jose Manuel, Pablito, me

To the right on the horizon is the Centro de Mendoza, up the road to the right past the red roof is the missionaries' barrio, and to the left you can see a line of houses. Those are the government built houses that are sort of part of the barrio I work in. I went hiking near the missionaries' house. This was about a 45 minute hike from their house.

The view I got hiking by myself in the Andes while Esteban was fishing. We headed up to the mountains for a day of rest. This is about 30 miles outside Mendoza.

It rocked.

I saw a Guanaco, like a Llama with short hair.

Although life is beautiful there are also some really hard things going on. Please pray for wisdom as there are some extremely tough situations in the Barrio right now: one with a little girl possibly being exploited sexually with her parents knowledge. Another with a pregnant girl involved in prostitution, the last time she was pregnant her mom forced her to abort the baby after 3 months using 12 day after pills. Please pray that Esteban and Gina would know what to do and who to involve. We serve a God who is in control, who is abounding is love, and I trust Him. I love you all!

In Christ,

The Team is Gone...

I haven't written for a long time on this blog. I've been relying mostly on the team blog to give people updates and then calling or emailing personally when I needed to. However, as the rest of the team has now gone back to the states I am going to try hard to update this weekly.

I have another month in Argentina before I head to Chile for my semester of study abroad. I will be living in the Barrio, Doce de Mayo, where the missionaries I am working with focus their ministry. I’ll be staying in the youth center that the team has been working on for the last week or so. This is the finished product. We leveled and finished the front and built the edition to the right (the black and corrugated metal thing). 

Over the next month I will continue working on the inside of the center where they will soon be starting cosmetics classes along with the other Bible studies and various functions that happen there. Also there is some more work to do in La Valle, the desert north of Mendoza. Beyond this there is some more work to do in Godoy Cruz on the community center there.

 

Despite all of this exciting construction type stuff, the thing I am most excited about is living in the Barrio, being able to share life with the guys there. The relationships I was able to start with those guys over the last six weeks are really blossoming into something cool and I pray that God would communicate through me. Although my Spanish is pretty sketchy, I know that God can show what he’s done in my life. My inability to have very deep conversations due to lack of language skills is frustrating but the joy I have in Christ is communicable without words. I just pray that God would be glorified through the way I live.

A lot of the guys in the Barrio have made decisions to follow Christ but have not really begun to practice their faith or study the word. Esteban, the really awesome missionary I get to work with, has told me a lot about these guys and their walks with God (because I have trouble understanding when they tell me themselves) and it is really exciting what God has done. But I really want to see the guys get excited about studying the Bible for themselves and become spiritual leaders of their families (a lot of them have girlfriends and children even through they are my age). Most of the guys I’m around are my age, they like me and we have a lot in common: soccer, music, playing pool, working construction when there are opportunities. They are cool guys with extremely tough circumstances and most of them only have a 7^th grade education or so. But when I talk to them we are so similar, so much like my friends back home, that I know that God can open their hearts and minds to read the word and get the same joy and growth. Hosea 4 talks about how God’s people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge and I desire to see these guys grow. I just pray that as I live in the Barrio with my habit of studying the word that might spur these guys on to study it for themselves.

I think it is fairly obvious at this point in my post what I need prayer for but here are some other things:

-For open hearts, both mine and the people I am working with.

-Safety in the Barrio, physically and from all types of temptations.

-The ability to live humbly like my Lord without putting myself above the people I’m serving.

-The ability to make wise decisions with the things I have, how to best bless people with my physical resources.

-The government is talking about disallowing all public gatherings of over 10 people due to the spread of swine flu. Pray that the the missionaries would have wisdom about how to proceed in light this disruption to their plans. Pray that we would trust God.

-Whatever God leads you to pray about.

Check out my facebook for more pictures!

 

In Christ,

Culture Shock Tastes Wonderful

It has been a week since leaving the States. I’ve since been in 3 other countries and now I’m so far away from home that I don’t even recognize the stars. I have misunderstood or completely not understood about 40% of what has been said to me over the last 4 days. I’ve hiked in the Andes mountains, tried fine Argentina Malbec, been called Che, ChaBón, Gringo, and Juancito, and doubt that I will ever be able to eat what passes for beef in the U.S. again. In short, culture shock Argentine style is the most thoroughly enjoyable experience I can imagine.

The days are packed. Getting up around 8 we eat breakfast (mainly facturas, a type of breakfast bread/donut and eggs) and then begin work. So far we have done just about everything you can think of around the Church. We are all staying on huge squishy pads in this sweet, derelict house on the Church’s property. The lemon tree in the side yard provides daily lemonade as well as seasoning for the indescribably good beef that my new favorite person in the world, Julio, cooks. This man, the Church janitor/former UNICEF psychologist and, consequently our cook/task master, could make a rock taste good, but when he is cooking prime Argentine beef over a smoldering hardwood of which I don’t remember the name it is to die for. We have had 2 asados (absurdly wonderful barbeques) so far but we’ve had beef every day! ¡Qué rico!

Other than working around the church (which includes fixing up this building for a school they are starting for high school dropouts) we help with “copa de leche” (literally “cup of milk”), which is the daily feeding of the little kids in the Barrio. That part of the day absolutely rocks. The kids are incredibly cute and enjoyable. On Friday nights we go to the barrio to hang out with the local youth, sharing out testimonies and just chilling. On Saturdays we have “La horita feliz” (Literally “happy hour” haha!) with the little kids in the Barrio in which we act out a Bible story and then let the little guys act it out. Also, we feed them and play for a while. Our schedule is quickly filling up as we figure out more where we can serve.

Monday was Primer Gobierno Patrio, a day celebrating the Argentine revolution. Because of this the whole city shut down. We headed up to the Andes for the day, had an amazing asado, and hiked around in the hills surround the house of our hosts up there. It was so quant and I can’t really explain what it was like to have an asado with Argentine beef and wine in the foothills of the Andes.

This place is lovely, the people are so kind, and my team is a great encouragement. However, please pray for me as some things are quite hard to deal with. The poverty I see in the barrio is intense and being away from those I love and know so well is tough while everything else is so new and strange. Pray for the kids, pray that those who don’t know the lord would come to know him and that, specifically for the older kids, they would be softened to his work in them. Some of these older kids are pretty hardened, being surrounded by drug dealers and prostitutes. I’ve already heard some truly heartbreaking stories and am sure I will hear more.

I love you all! Please enjoy the photos below! For more frequent updates from other team members check out our team blog: http://argentinatrip.tumblr.com

Copa de Leche

Julio at the first asado
Little dude in the Barrio
The town you see down there is where we had the second asado, the foothills of the Andes

Explanation

“I saw well why the gods do not speak to us openly, nor let us answer. Till that word can be dug out of us, why should they hear the babble that we think we mean? How can they meet us face to face till we have faces?”

Orual, the main character of my favorite book, Till We Have Faces, articulates this. In the book C. S. Lewis narrates her life as it leads up to the point at which she is finally able to understand that God isn’t a cruel judge, rather a lover leading us to the place in which we can understand him. In a similar but true story, God spoke through Hosea to say this about Israel.

“I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her … and in that day, declares the Lord, you will call me ‘My Husband,’ and no longer will you call me ‘My Master.’”

Though this was written about that nation, it applies to me and Orual. She was on the run from God but he turned her around until she could say that he was her husband, till she had a face. It has taken a lot to give me a face too and even now I only “see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.” This blog is about face growing—the process of being humbled and seeking to meet God face to face.